Dear Yuki
by I-ARE-COOL
Summary: Dear Yuki...In the end... it's all I can do not to annoy yuki to death
1. Dear Yuki

To: All of my fans.  
I Yuki have started an e-mail so each and everyone of you may e-mail me your little questions and I will do my best to answer them and hope I don't faint from the bizarre questions you ask me.

1. Dear Yuki,  
Do you ever worry about looking like a girl?  
Love Jen  
**A: Ask my fan girls**

  
2.Dear Mr. Mouse,  
Hahahaha my friend calls you Mr.Mouse! I want to hug you.  
Love Yuki's girl  
Ps.Do you like girls with blonde hair.  
**A: It depends. Will they act like you?**

3. Hi Yuki,  
It's me Kagura. Could you do me a small little favor? _TELL ME **EVERYTHING**_ YOU KNOW ABOUT MY KYO-KUN! TELL HIM I LOVE HIM! TELL HIM OR ELES! TELL HIM TO REMEMBER THAT HE **PROMISED** ME THAT HE WOULD MARRY ME!  
Kagura   
**A: Kagura, you really need to see a doctor about this. **

4. Dear Yuki-kun  
I'm your number 1 fan! Will you go on a date with me! I like in Hawaii! You know you want to go on a date with me! So please!  
Much Love, Felicity  
**A: That puts you at the 872581304th person to ask me this question, so please take a number and wait in line like all the 872581303 other girls.**

5. Dear Sohma-kun  
Hi, my name is Madison…. I was wondering if you could possibly tell me if I could ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm live with you!   
Love Madison  
**A: Sorry Madison, but this isn't a hospital…**

  
6. Yo dude,  
My sister loves you and I bet if you wear a dress, you'll look really hot as a girl. You should really check you fan site! There are just so many girls and some guys who are in your fan site.  
Dan  
**A: Your asking to be beat up aren't you? Also my name is Yuki, not "dude" as you call me. **

7. Dear Yuki-kun,  
I'm so sorry when I accidentally dropped the rice ball today! Please forgive me! I'm really sorry! I'll never do it again! It was a mistake and I'm so sorry Yuki-kun!  
Tohru  
**A: Urrmmm Tohru, I forgave you already. I said it was ok when you dropped it remember? **

8. Dear Prince Yuki,  
Marry ME!  
Love the president of the Yuki-fan club!**  
A: No thank you for the 500,000,000,000,000th time. **

9. Hey Yuki,  
Yuki, how come you still answer to these questions even though you're annoyed?**  
A: That's very easy. It's because you made me this way in this fanfic! Did you forget! Geez peoples these days. **


	2. YUKI!

Dear Yuki,  
I want to be like you. I want all these fans. Any tips on becoming like you.  
Alex  
**A: Let's see.  
1. Live with Akito for your childhood.  
2. Turn into a rat every time a girl hugs you.  
3. Be silent and mysterious.  
4. Live with Shigure (I don't think you want that now do you)  
5. Learn to fight Kyo.**

Hey Yuki,  
It's me again! I just wondered if you wanted to stop answering so many questions. Maybe you do and I'm selfish for not thinking but then oh well keep writing!  
ME!  
**A: Curse you!  
**  
YUKI!  
YUKI DID YOU TELL KYO YET! IF YOU DID TELL HIM AGAIN! I SAW HIM A THE MARKET AND HE RAN AWAY! ISN'T THAT WEIRD! TELL HIM I LOVE HIM AGAIN AND AGAIN!  
KAGURA!  
**A: Kagura, maybe if you leave Kyo alone he'll be happy! GOT THAT KAGURA! I'M WRITING THIS! I MEAN I'M YUKI! I'M RAT BOY NOT KYO!  
-Yuki enters room-  
-Kyo is sent flying out of the house-  
-Shigure cries poor house-**

Dear Sohma-kun,  
Sohma-kun we are sorry to inform you're not in our fan club unless you have 20 girls fall in love with you every month and you have not met that goal.  
Yuki fan club President  
P.S. I LOVE YOU WHY WONT YOU TALK TO ME!  
**A: Uhhh…. Because and HOW DID YOU GET MY E-MAIL! .**

Dear Yuki,  
DO you wear boxers, underwear, or other?  
EVIL  
**A: Underwear, boxers, and other.**

Dear author,  
STOP MAKING ME TYPE THIS! I COMMAND YOU TO!  
**A: Uhhh I'll think about it.**


	3. Hey dude!

Dear Yuki,  
Hey can we be b/f and g/f?  
LOVE, (Pick some name, no I'm not thinking of it XD)

**A: Thank you for your exaggerating amount of "?" and no. Debate with the other girls for the next infinite years.**

Dear Yuki,  
Keep answering the e-mails.  
The me  
**A: I hate you.**

Hey Jerk!  
Make this simple. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU, YOU MADE MY GIRLFRIEND LOVE YOU AND DUMP ME. I HOPE YOU GO TO -beep-!

**A: Do you think it's my fault I have a better /charm/ for girls then you and that I can look like a girl? Nope, I don't think so. Why don't you get a makeover on yourself to look like me?**

_Dear Yuki_**,  
**Due to the amount of fan girls going over you, I am taking you out of the president's spot.

**A: Don't blame me if a mob of fan girls go after you because of that.**

Hey you,**  
**I am a hobo and I need money. Can you give me some?  
Some guy

**A: ...I'm not a member for the homeless shelter.**

**  
**Dear Yuki,  
I think that you would look good In a dress.  
Ps. I sent you a dress.  
Amy

**A: Yes thank you Amy. I am now burning it over the stove. It has a pleasant smell.**

Yo Yuki,  
Can we hang out sometime like at the movies or sum thing? Laterz

**A: Will you be unhappy of the fact we may be spied on?**

YUUUUKKIIII!  
KYO RAN AWAY FROM ME AGAIN! ARE YOU TELLING HIM THAT I, KAGURA SOHMA, AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM!

**A: Err...can you talk to a therapist about this?  
**  
Dear Yuki,  
Are you Yuki? Are you sure? Are you really sure? REALLY SURE! HOW DO I KNOW YOU ARE YUKI! ARE YOU REALLY HIM! TELL ME IF YOU'RE REALLY YUKI!  
Stella

**  
A: ARE YOU REALLY STELLA? ARE YOU SURE? ARE YOU REALLY SURE? REALLY SURE? HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE STELLA! ARE YOU REALLY HER. ARE YOU REALLY HER! TELL ME IF YOUR REALLY YUKI! ANNOYING RIGHT?**

Die Rat-boy,  
YOU WILL BE BEATEN UP ONE DAY AND I HATE YOU!

**A: Okay sure, Cat-boy. As long you stop hitting the walls and the ceiling.**

OMG HI!  
YOU ARE HOT AND I LOVE YOU!  
Isabella

**A: I dunno for the hot part, because I actually feel pretty cool.   
**

Hey,  
Want a basket of chocolates for valentines day?

**A: As long as I don't find secret recorders in there...**

_I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY BUDDY HANNAH FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS CHAPTER. HER PEN NAME IS _FamiliarSkye.


	4. I Quit! No way! Your fired!

Dear Little Brother,  
It seems to me, little brother, you have a problem and I know just how to cure it! We shall spend time together! Than you will realize how great I am!  
Ayame

A: **Yes and maybe all the mice in the world will dance with snakes and not have them eaten. So in other words I'll spend time with you when the world explodes.**

Dear Yuki,  
I Love you so much! What can I do to prove myself worthy!  
Jessica

**A: By not mailing me anymore. Ask the other 384058947583 people who asked me that question.**

Dear Yuki,  
Were you a girl who turned into a boy? I can't sleep thinking about that question.  
Rosa  
**  
A: Were you a boy who turned into a girl. I don't look that much like a girl do I? But if I do then you know what (spread this) Yuki is a boy and he is STRAIGHT! Got that? And just in case you didn't get that I'm a BOY!**

Hey Yuki,  
Tell Shigure how cool he is! He rocks!  
Shigure (scratched out) I mean Jo  
**A: Shigure, just start your own e-mail. And what did I tell you about answering my e-mail for me. This is the 3445 time you did it this week. –Sigh-**

YUKI!  
What can I do! My sister loves Kyo! I was arguing with her and she said mice suck! What can I do? Can you get your mice and teach her a lesson.  
Samantha  
**A: How did you know I can control mice?**

YUKI!  
The author person of this fanfic told me…  
Samantha  
**A: I'm going to kill her!...**

Mouse dude,  
Yea there is no ways you can kill me because I'm to powerful (jk). I control all in this fanfic! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH!  
ME!  
**A: You know what! I QUIT! YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERSON!**

EVIL!  
YOU CAN TELL ME THIS! BECAUSE YOUR FIRED!  
ME!   
**A: I DON'T CARE. LEAVE ME ALONE OR ELES.**

ME: OR ELES WHAT!  
YUKI: YOUR GOING TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF A LAKE AT NIGHT.  
ME: OH I'M SO SCARED! TRY YOUR BEST!

-The next night-  
Yuki: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 ,...  
Me: AHHHHH HOLY SHIT! I'M IN A LAKE. DAMN HE WASN'T LYING. Damn it!


	5. DARN YOU YUKI! I'll be back!

_Dear Yuki,  
I have only ONE thing to say. So here it goes. HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET ME INTO A LAKE!  
ME!  
**A: SIMPLE! MICE AND I HAVE TO SAY: YOU'RE FAT!**_

Me: How dare you say that!

Yuki: How dare you put me in a fanfic like this?

_  
Me: I made you famouser! YOU should THANK me!_

_Akito: I'm calling Hatori to erase your memory!_

ME: GET OUT OF MY FANFIC –kicks him out of my room-AND HOW DID YOU EVEN GET INTO MY ROOM!

Akito: I am GOD!

Me: Yea and I'm a walking TV.

Akito: Curse you! I am a man who is powerful!

Me: Your not a man, You're a woman (according to the manga later on in the series)

Akito: -already gone-

_  
Yuki: Fine THANK you for making me sound like an idiot!-gets mice to attack me-_

_  
Me: Your wel….AJJJJJJ MICE! –runs out of house chased and by MICE of all animals (Just take a second here NOT A MINUTE and imagine…. Me a human over 5ft and 3 inches getting chased by 5 inch things. Oh BOOHOO I lied about the "a second" thing.) AHHHHHHHHHH!_

Yuki: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Dear Yuki,  
I'm hiding at Disney Land because of you and now being chased by a bigger mouse. Guess who.**A: Mickey Mouse, ahh yes a good friend of mine. Ok well not really. The old and real one was but this one or Kyo who I working because he lost a bet trying to beat me.**

Yuki-kun,  
There's some girl in Disney that was chased by mickey mouse. Do you know her?  
Emma  
**A: Nope  
**  
Me: HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU DON'T KNOW ME!  
Yuki: Because you're weird.

Me: I quit this author stuff! I'm going to become the awsomest ninja ever!

Yuki: You said you were going to quit last chapter.

Me: Well uhhhh you see…… Stop asking hard question! 


	6. AHHHH!

Dear Yuki,  
Are you a girl!  
Jane

**A: FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME! NO NO NONONONONO! I BEG OF YO PEOPLE! GET IT STRAIGHT! I'M NOT BI! I'M A FULL BOY! I'M NOT GAY OR A GIRL FOR THE LAST TIME!**

Yuki: Oh wait your probably wondering what happened to that author. Well I kicked her out. She's facing Akito right now in a head to head battle.

Dear Yuki,  
Did you know that there is a camera in this room right now and I am I'm watching you. You can never I repeat Never get rid of me!  
The author

**A: DAMN YOU!**

Back at the main house:  
"So…ummm…. How long do you think it will take Yuki to get here?" I said drinking some tea.

"I bet it'll take him 10 minutes." Akito said.  
"I bet 6 minutes." I said placing in 20 dollars.

-7 minutes later-  
Yuki bashes through the door.

"YES I WIN! HAHAHAHA THAT WAS CLOSEST TO MINE!" I YELLED GRABBING THE $40.  
"Damn you" Akito whispered.

-Back at my house-  
Yo Yuki,  
Peace. What do I do if I just accidentally threw a rock at your rival because he was yelling about you and now he's on the floor?  
COW!

**A: Well you're screwed. Get some guy and say that's the guy who did it. It will get you out a trouble 100 ok not really only 50.******

Dear Mr.Sohma, **  
**Please take the following survey:

How do you make yourself look like a girl :

Why you don't like hugs:

I hate that girl who lives with you:

Will you go out with me :

Be my prince in shinning armor:

**A: **

**Ask my mom about that**

**I need space from your hor-...yeah.**

**Yeah I love her too...ha-ha.**

**Maybe I should get some time turner...**

**Sorry I only have rusted armor**

**  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

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Dear Yuki,  
Your product STINKS! What's wrong with you? Your selling me junk! I want a refund!

**A: But you didn't even pay me. Wait LAUREN! (Author. Yes that is my name) (Got a problem? Well I don't care.)**

YUKI,  
What kind of pills are you selling!

**A: WHAT WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BUY THIS STUFF DON'T YOU READ ACTUALLY EVERTHING! **

Yuki: How could you even create a thing like this!

Me: If I created it then I would be richer. Besides who would actually buy it if it caused death. I only do the commercial and I'm not responsible for this.

Yuki: Damn you….

Me: Yes I know—AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Find out what happens next chapter . 


	7. KYO GET OFF MY LAPTOP!

Yuki,

I am currently digging a whole out of the cave in Australia with a spoon. Just a quick question…. HOW THE HELL DID YOUR RATS MANGAE TO PULL ME ALL THE WAY TO THE MIDDLE OF AUSTRALIA AND SWIM BACK ACROSS THE OCEAN??!! AND HOW AM I GOING TO GET BACK!?!

A: hm…. I'll get back to you on that. Mean while let's see how much money you made from Fukatol. ALRIGHT I HAVE ENOUGH TO BUY SOME NEW CLOTHES FOR AYAME, HIRE A LAYER AND GET A RESTRAINING ORDER!!!!

Dear Yuki,

I am like… YOUR BIGGEST FAN… I HAVE A PAIR OF YOUR BOXERS FROM WHEN YOU WERE 8!!!!!!

SO MUCH LOVE,

Kaya

**A: sweat drop Uh… MOVING ON. NEXT LETTER PLEASE.**

Sup yuki,

I AM YOUR STALKER. I LOVE YOU.

Caring a lot,

J.b

**A: I'm going to start hoping your not a man.**

WUZ UP YUKI!

DUDE LIKE ONE TIME...I totally saw you pissed off at this waiter guy at like the restaurant. Why!?!Do you like hate eating out?

** A:I love eatint out. Any restaurant I think. But certain things about them piss me off... Like the exact moment I put food in my mouth some retard waiter comes over and asks me "how is your food?" How the hell do they expect me answer??!?! I personally think they choose this time so they can scoot off and think all is well... but if it was me I would grab them by the arm and slowly finish chewing my food and then give them a 20 minute lecture about the food. then ask them to replace it because it went cold all because they had to come over and waste 20 minutes of my life.**** Thank you yet another person to forget their names. Also NOTHING is up. LOOK UP before asking me --FOOL!  
**

Dear Yuki,

Why do you like piñatas in this fanfic in which I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, he likes piñatas

**A: well genius who didn't put a name, I think piñatas are great because you can physically beat something up and get candy from it. It's pure genius. Thank you for wasting 2 minutes of my life. Bye bye.**

Dear Kyo,

STOP ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS WHILE I'M ON MY 5 MINUTE BREAKS AND THEN LOCKING THE DOOR ON ME.

Yuki

**A: GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR LAPTOP RATBOY. Ooops. I just pulled out your internet connection. MUHHAHAAHA**

Dear Yuki-kun,

I AM SO SORRY!! AM I WASTING YOUR TIME?!?! I REALLY NEEDED TO KNOW WHERE THE TOILET PAPER IS!!! PLEASE HELP ME!! I'M SO SORRY! I BEG YOU FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS!!!

TRULY SORRY,

cousin

A: RITSU… how long ago was this? Don't tell me… your still in the restroom waiting for me to….you know what forget this. I QUIT.

Dear Mr. Sohma,

You are being sued for sending some idiot to Australia. We do not wish to ….

**A**: **WAIT…WAIT…WAIT…. I QUIT…WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME MAIL?!! --**

Xxx

5 months later

"YU…." Before I could even finish the sentence Akito those his spittoon at me and everything darkens.

"That teaches her." Akito smirked as he took at 40 bucks.

"HEY WHAT THE HECK MAN. YOU KNOCK ME OUT WITH A BOWL WITH YOUR SPIT IN IT SO YOU CAN GET 40 DOLLARS??!!" I scream.

"yeah basically." Akito said flatly

"oh. Ok. Sure. Let's go get some ramen." I reply holding the spittoon behind my hands.

"HEY!!! WHAT ABOUT ME?! HELLO!!?!" Yuki yelled impatiently.

"Oh yeah. I forgot about you. Um… Want a fukatol pill?" I ask.

"AKITO OPEN THE DOORS!" I holler.

"What for?" Akito asks but..still he pulls open the door.

"AHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Yuki says as he skips away like a ballerina… I mean…LIKE A MAN. Yes. He skips like a man. Much better than a ballerina.

* * *

sorry this wasn't a good of a chapter.. I'll be lucky to even get one review. But thanks for reading... Why is Yuki screaming?? WHAT DID HE SEE?!? OMG!! read my other fanfics!

* * *


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